Why it's ok to sometimes step back from all this

The work of sustainability is hard - so here are some thoughts on how anyone should and could take a break when they need to.

I've recently had to take some time off, step back from things, and look after myself. As someone who has always put productively levels above most else, this isn't something that comes naturally.

In fact, other than replying to a handful of personal messages, this is perhaps the first time I have ever truly done so while in a full-time job and with the sort of commitments that felt big to step away from at short notice.

How would we hit deadlines or meet deliverables on my projects? How would the team manage all in my absence? Who would help make necessary decisions? What would partners, clients and other colleagues think? What would be the knock-on effect and how stressful would it make it to return? All of these questions swirled round my head, but ultimately I had no choice but to accept it in pretty short order, hand things over and switch off.

I think I was already set up in many ways to do so. A few years ago, as a freelance consultant, I took a six month break from my project work. Though it was a necessity for me at the time, it was more out of choice in terms of the when and the how than this time around. Yet it similarly had me thinking lots of different things along the same lines going in. The same when I did two rounds of maternity leave. (You should have seen my handover notes though!)

Now, properly back at my desk this time around and ready to re-engage, the experience of being forced to pause once again, has left me with a lot of reflections on each of those occasions combined.

I'm writing this because it feels particularly pertinent to the work of sustainability, which let's face it, is hard. Further, that feels especially the case right now in today's climate. Whether it's something else completely unrelated that takes place (as it was for me this time), or exhaustion/frustration/anxiety/burnout/et al from doing this day in and day out, sometimes things just have to give. And basically what I wanted to share is that that's ok.

It's really easy to believe we can keep going, to plead that the work can't cope without us, but actually it can, and it will, and you will only serve it better when you've first looked after yourself anyway. There is so much to do in this field (a lifetime of work), that it can afford us to take a minute if, when and every time, we need to. No matter how anxiety-inducing that is in of itself.

So this post is about how anyone should and could do so if they need to. And accordingly, I wrote down some of my (amateur) thoughts about it all...

The good thing is, nothing really changes

Firstly, when you take time out, whether for a few weeks, months, or even a year, you won't actually miss that much. While things do progress in your absence, they don’t fundamentally change in such a way that it makes your return insurmountable, even if it might feel it from the outset. The work, the projects and the broader mission will still be there. In fact, you might realise you’ve grown or changed more than the work itself. There's huge frustration to that too of course—especially when we're in spaces where we’re striving for impact—but, I hope, it’s also reassuring. Everything changes and nothing changes all at the same time.

People are kind

One of the biggest lessons I learned was just how understanding and supportive other people can be when you need them to be. In fact, the more open I have been with my different experiences, the more I have seen genuine thoughtfulness in return from both those I have known for years and those I have only just met. I’m not only talking about friends here, but work associates too. It’s easy to assume that we need to keep up appearances and neglect to remember that everyone, no matter how formal your relationship is with them, is human. This also led me to discovering two other really important factors: being honest about what you're going through often helps give others strength, and everyone is dealing with something.

Asking for help, helps

On that same note, it's also important to know when to ask for help. If you’re someone who’s used to taking on everything yourself, stepping back can feel like an impossible task. But there’s something transformative about trusting others to carry things in your absence. It's also a great reminder of just how much support is available when you allow yourself to accept it.

It's ok to truly switch off

Yes it’s scary when the world carries on without you, but it also doesn’t forget you or erase you. When I stepped out from my freelance consulting work, I genuinely thought finding my way back would be near on impossible. Would there even be any projects that would consider me after such a long period, let alone hire me? It turns out, that’s just not true. Mainly see point 1 for why. The world keeps turning, but it also welcomes you back when you’re ready.

Yes that includes letting your inbox go

We are all so consumed by our emails, yet leaving them be for a while, really doesn’t do any harm. I actually turned my phone off for a full eight days at the beginning of my six month break in 2017; something I haven’t come even close to before. It was incredibly liberating, a true example of how different life becomes when you live in the moment. So put an out of office on, prioritise you, and let the messages build up. If it's important, people will email again. The great thing is, the majority of threads will now be irrelevant whenever you do come to look at them.

New opportunities are always just around the corner

You will find that "Everything happens for a reason" or “When one door closes, another one opens” are phrases frequently quoted at you in times of personal change. It’s easy to dismiss these as clichés, but the one thing I wil say I believe, and have particularly found, is that while opportunities do exist, they rarely just land in your lap. Taking a step back has, on every occasion, given me the space to notice and spend time considering things I might otherwise have ignored. It allows you to explore, to re-evaluate and ultimately to open yourself up to what's around you in ways that could lead to new paths.

Rest isn’t just about recovery

Whether what you're dealing with is related to physical or mental health, it's important to really accept that taking a break isn’t indulgent; it’s what allows you to keep going for the long haul. If you want to be effective and have an impact, prioritising your well-being is essential. The same goes for how you re-engage. A note to self: one of the the hardest things to do is ensure that happens in a healthy manner.

I hope some of my small lessons give someone else the strength to pause if they need to. Life is not, after all, what happens to us, it's how we choose to respond.